Annoying Music

26Jan/12Off

When on hold or in an elevator, “Do You Know the Way to San Jose” and “The Girl from Ipanema” are go to tunes used for punch lines in movies and commercials. The sappier, the better. While catchy, they can drive you up a wall.

Similar tunes plague customers listening to messages on hold. If one performs an Internet search for “worst songs on hold,” 2,930,000 hits come up. Not all of that can be included, because many of the matches are for songs with “hold on” in their titles. But even if we eliminate half of them, that’s still 1,465,000 lists compiled by people. Clearly, this topic relates to a ton of people.

A British list commissioned by stressbusting.co.uk has a wide variety: #6 is “The Four Seasons” by Vivaldi; coming in at fifth place is “The Entertainer”/Theme Tune to The Sting; #4 is “Memory”, or anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber; third place is held by “Simply the Best” by Tina Turner; and though you might not recognize the name of #2, you’ll certainly know the tune: Pavarotti singing “Nessun Dorma” from the opera Turandot; and holding down the top spot is … “Greensleeves.”

Seriously, “What Child Is This?” Clearly the Brits have a more cultured on hold system.

Other music named as particularly annoying by the site~A few other tunes or artists named as particularly annoying by the site}:

The Bee Gees
Anything by ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell
“Fur Elise” by Beethoven
“Orinoco Flow” by Enya

What is it about certain songs that make you want to shove nails into your ears? Scientists call it an earworm.

Psychologist James Kellaris, PhD, of the University of Cincinnati, describes an earworm as a “cognitive itch” created by a catchy tune. Our minds want to scratch it by repeating it over and over in our heads. Why the song sticks is unknown to scientists, and each individual seems cursed with a different set of musical notes. Studies show that the majority of the music was important to us in the first 15 years of our lives. Overexposure leads to its annoyance factor.

At a meeting of the Society for Consumer Psychology, Kellaris reported that nearly 98% of people have been afflicted by earworms. “On average, the episodes last over a few hours and occur ‘frequently’ or ‘very frequently’ among 61.5% of the sample,” Kellaris wrote in his study abstract.

So how do you get BaHa Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out,” Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” or Village People’s “Y.M.C.A.” out of your head? Scientists suggest that men tend to not do anything—this is a phenomenon that affects women and musicians far more~It seems men just let it fizzle away naturally—this is a phenomenon that affects women and musicians far greater}. But if you must, they suggest:

Turning on the radio, although it’s likely your current earworm will be replaced by another one.
Play a different melody on an instrument you have access to, like a piano.
Pass it along to others via humming or singing it. They may start singing it, but it might leave you.
Listen to it repeatedly, especially until you’ve memorized the lyrics.

If none of those work, you can always bang your head against the wall until your unconscious. And this writer apologizes for any tortuous tunes he may have placed in your head.